I'm going to be forty in a few weeks. I have no idea what to expect, but if it feels at all like when I turned 30, I'm pretty sure I will survive. However, I'm not naive. I'm well aware that this decade is going to bring some changes. But whatever those changes entail, I say bring it on!

Recently somebody I've known for years, whose wife will also be turning forty soon, jokingly suggested that I write about what husbands should look forward to. I gave it a lot of thought and finally concluded that it all depends on what has been going on all these years. Hitting another decade doesn't necessarily mean that things will get any better or any worse, unless the individual decides to make something new happen.

Yes, there are some physical modifications. Sometimes, after my daily workout, I ache in places I didn't even know I could feel pain, and when I wake up in the morning my eyes are so dry it feels like somebody put sand in them while I slept. Not to mention the facial transformations I've been trying hard to ignore for the last five years.

Even so, I am looking forward to this new decade because the wisdom I have accumulated over the previous thirty-nine years is bound to come in handy. I look forward to deepening my relationships much more than I look forward to starting new ones, I expect to embrace my new definition of beauty rather than waste time longing for what used to be, I look forward to contributing to society instead of wondering what others can do for me.

If turning forty or fifty or sixty scares you, allow me to be so bold as to share ten tips:

· Laugh more. It's still the best medicine.
· Love yourself every single day. It's liberating.
· Love others as much as you can. It's empowering.
· Eliminate worry. It's a useless emotion.
· Live intentionally. Embrace each new day with wonder and gratitude.
· Don't dwell on the past. Some things should remain buried.
· Read good books.
· Surround yourself with people who have your best interest at heart.
· Forgive. She who resents is enslaved.
· Tell your story. It makes a world of difference.

As you step into this new decade, decide to identify and eliminate all negative thoughts. Choose not to allow words of defeat and self- deprecation to leave your mouth. We do so much damage to ourselves and to those who love us when we refuse to accept who we are. Most of all, enjoy the next ten years...they say the best is yet to come!

© Copyright 2009 by Dinorah Blackman