Recently I participated in a committee with a group of women who were involved in planning a high impact conference. During the eleven-month process we met many difficulties and hardships, and as a result a number of the women became discouraged. Each one reacted differently to this discouragement: dropping out of the team, spreading attitudes of negativity, or even gossiping and criticizing the leadership.

A few days before the big event, a meeting was held in which each woman was asked to rate her individual performance on a scale of 1-10. I sat in complete astonishment as every single woman rated herself below four. One went so far as to rate herself a zero! They were being completely honest, but how useful was their sense of remorse a few hours before the big event was to take place?

Of course there is always room for improvement, but we must learn to live our lives in such a way that we do not waste energy regretting not having done more. Life cannot be run on good intentions and thoughts of what you should have or could have done. Excellence is not something you do if the time (or price) is right. Excellence is a lifestyle, and it is available to all but there is a fee to be paid. When you make up your mind to live in excellence you will be called names, people might shy away from you, and others might try to destroy you. But keep these tips in mind as you take firm steps toward achieving a standard of distinction:

1. Stay focused. One of the reasons why the women on the team were unable to do more was because they forgot that their main objective was to work together for a common purpose. Most of the times after the monthly meetings were adjourned, some of the team members would stick around to chat, eat, and watch movies. That simple act made them lose sight of their goal. They started seeing the meetings as opportunities to network and catch up on the latest gossip.
2. Stay motivated. Contrary to what you have been told, nobody can motivate you. This is something you need to do for yourself. It is a choice you make. You decide to stay motivated even when things are not going as planned, even when everybody else has chosen to give up and thoughts of despair are taking over.
3. Stay positive. Our thoughts control our lives. If you choose to continuously fix your eyes on what is going wrong, you will soon start to believe that you are incapable of doing a good job. You then allow feelings of despair to overpower you and you will find yourself unfit to function properly; not because you are not talented, but because you believed the lies about your lack of skills.
4. Run from gossip. It is not true that all women enjoy gossip. This is a huge lie that somebody came up with in order to appease their own guilty conscience. I do not need to tell you how destructive this habit of spreading rumors can be. Stay away from any situation that promotes, leads to, or allows for gossiping. When the members of the team found themselves constantly gossiping about each other (because it is true: the one who brings news also carries news) they inadvertently weakened the bonds that joined them.
5. Be accountable. Most people dislike being held accountable for their actions. But in your quest for a lifestyle of excellence you cannot shy away from this step. One of the tasks assigned to the team members was to sell tickets for the event. Half of them were unable to comply with the amount of tickets assigned to them. When questioned, every single one had the perfect excuse. But excuses were not going to get the tickets sold! You must live your life in such a way that when you are called to answer you do not have to rely on improvised tales to justify your actions (or lack of them).
6. Always do your best. It does not matter how small the task that you have been asked to do might be, still do your best. I try to stick to activities that I love, that way it is a lot easier to fulfill my commitment to excellence. Occasionally I might become involved in activities I do not enjoy much. This fact is no excuse for a mediocre performance. I still do my best.

If you purpose in your heart that you will live your life in such a way that everything you do or say is done to the utmost of your ability, you will have no need to waste valuable energy and time justifying yourself, making excuses, and regretting not having done more. Even if it so happens that at some point you did not do all that you could have done but you put your best effort into what you did do, you are still on the right track.

© Copyright 2008 by Dinorah Blackman