We have long heard about the influence that our thoughts have on our daily life. In fact, it has been proven that if we constantly think negative thoughts our choices and overall behavior will be affected. That is the reason why so many empowerment speakers and authors constantly urge us to speak to ourselves in the first person present tense, using only words of encouragement and hope

This might have its limitations, because I have noticed that no matter how many times a day I tell myself that I am thin, the mirror begs to differ. However, the other day I set out to lose a few unsightly pounds and I noticed that by constantly telling myself "I am losing the extra bulk" "I'm becoming healthier every day" I was able to curve my hunger and stick to my nutritional plans.

But the most impressive example I have ever seen of mind of matter is the impact that a name can have on the bearers. No wonder in certain cultures so much care is taken when choosing a name for a new baby. For example, in the Jewish culture the object of a baby-naming ceremony is to officially present the child with a Hebrew name, usually honoring a loved one who has passed away. In this ceremony, a new Hebrew name is affectionately given to the baby in its parent's arms. Parents may offer some sentimental, loving comments and memories about the person after whom their baby is named. The name might be symbolic, or parents might choose a name sounding like its English counterpart. Some admirable quality of the deceased might be exemplified in the choice, or a Hebrew name might be chosen as a direct translation of an English one.

In Africa, naming traditions are often based on the timing of the birth. They reflect the time of day, day of the week, the weather, and the newcomer's position in the family. Among the Nigerian Yoruba, apart from the family name, the child is given several other names. One of the names describes the circumstances surrounding the birth. The parents often also have a pet name that indicates what they hope for their child.

This year I have two students with an unusual surname; Alegre, which is Spanish for happy. And let me tell you, so far both of them have lived up to that name.

On the first day of classes I asked my students to say their names and tell the class what makes them special. I was not at all surprised when Mr. Alegre told us that he was special because he was always happy. His cousin, in another classroom, said that one thing she loved to do was to laugh. Evidently she does, because she greets me every morning with a big smile.

How wonderful it would be if we all had names that remind us to be happy, forgiving, patient, hopeful, loving. But because most of us don't, we need to make it a habit to speak only good words to ourselves. I find it amazing that the mean and aggressive expressions that we refuse to accept from others, we willingly tell ourselves in the privacy of our minds. Needless to say, these words have a powerful effect on how we react to the world and how we treat others, and this in turn may affect our entire lives.

It may not be easy to be kind to yourself after years of insult, but that's no reason to give up and continue robbing yourself of a brighter, happier future.

So next time you are tempted to say "I'm so silly" or "I'm such a clumsy person" (or worse) remember that we tend to live up to what we believe about ourselves. Your name might not mean anything special, but that should not keep you from believing that you are unique.